#4StressfulWeeks – A Blogging Series – Week 2

2nd Installment of #4StressfulWeeks

What did you think? An easier week? Not a chance. Not for me, and I can probably bet my first-born son that it wasn’t an easy one for you either. Geez, just trying to get to the second week of this series was like going through the Tough Mudder challenge. That moment you think you’re just about done, when your body is going to give out from all the obstacles you jumped, climbed and swam over and through, then, comes that electroshock therapy field of 1,000 live wires. Who does that!? Why? Some sick sadist thought it would be fun to watch a bunch of masochist endure that last trial?

Whatever, my point is that just when I thought I had some time to get my words on to paper, some other “electrifying” obstacle presented itself. And just now, true story, I leave my husband dealing with the one thing that inspired my Week 2 of #4StressfulWeeks;

The Kitchen! (Evil organ sound effect “Toccata and Fugue” by Johann Sebastian Bach).

I have come across some beautiful kitchens. Close your eyes and picture yourself in a spacious, chefs kitchen. High ceilings. Top of the line, clean white space-saving cabinets that will house everything from cutlery drawers, gliding trash and recycling bins, drawers deep enough for pots and dishes, to those really cool thin pullout spice racks. All smudge proof stainless steel appliances. Granite counter tops. A huge center island with pull up bar stools conducive to socializing and two huge industrial lantern pendants hanging right above. That really cool pot filler right above your 6 burner commercial grade range, with pretty red knobs. A high styled faucet that sits pretty above your farmhouse sink, not to mention that unnecessary extra sink in the center island for washing your veggies. Oh, and dark hardwood floors so warm you’ll want to sleep on them.

Sophisticated Key West Style traditional-kitchen

NO! That is so far away, so galactically distant from what I have. Ask anyone. We bought a true fixer upper. My kitchen is stuck, trapped in the 50’s. And not even that cool retro looking 50’s. NO! What we have is VISION of what it could become. We MUST maintain those positive visions if we are to survive what this kitchen is doing to us. Of course, as life would have it, this kitchen which should have fallen apart years before we bought it, decided to go into rapid dilapidation in the 4 years since we’ve been here. Here’s a rundown so you can feel my pain:

  1. The oven door no longer closes. Yes, folks, if I wanted to bake a cake, or roast a pork shoulder, we have to resort to the “ghetto” way and use masking tape to keep it shut. Good thing I never took to baking.
  2. The dishwasher, just last month decided to throw in the towel and gave up its career in cleaning. Orlando took it apart, bought it a new filter, cleaned the tubes, but could not put Humpty back together again. I have not had a manicure in a month. Let’s not even talk about my nasty cuticles. 
  3. The fridge. That one is new. We bought that when we first moved in. A beautiful jewel that commanded admiration in this ugly room. But I guess it too has succumbed to the peer pressure of its kitchen counterparts, and has decided to go on strike. The digital screen says it’s cold, but the rotting milk in it would beg to differ. 
  4. I’m guessing that back in the 50’s, the pretty little lady of the house didn’t have many counter-top appliances, and hence, only needed ONE location for a counter level outlet. What the hell. I have a toaster, microwave, and coffeemaker that battle for this outlet on a daily basis. And it only gets worse when we whip out the George Foreman and the toaster oven (which is our solution to #1 above). 
  5. Then there are those boxes with doors we pretend to call cabinets. Did someone actually believe this was the handy work of a skilled carpenter? On the surface, they may seem utilitarian, but after a detailed inspection you will discover doors that don’t align, drawers with no tracks, and rusting wire pullouts and hinges. Dig a little deeper and you’ll find that most of the cabinets don’t even have side walls, making all the items housed inside spill into each other. 
  6. It is said “It’s the little things that count”. Well, so as to not be forgotten, here are the smaller details that drive me to drink in this kitchen. 
    • The radiator has stopped producing steam, which made for a cold kitchen this past winter.
    • The range hood has an exhaust that goes NO WHERE.
    • The laminate formica counter tops are becoming unglued. 
    • And the ceramic tiles seem to have accumulated layers of 50-year-old dirt. No matter how much I scrub that floor Cinderella style, my only option is to invest in black socks for everyone. Out of sight, out of mind at this point.

As I stated at the onset of this series, stress is a huge part of our everyday lives. So despite all of my griping, this kitchen and all of its non-working parts, make up my daily existence, Better this than having nothing is what I keep chanting to instill appreciation, or at least trying to convince myself of such. “Remember the vision“, he keeps whispering to me. “Remember the vision“. 

I’ll gather all my strength to get you my 3rd installment of #4StressfulWeeks by next week (Here is Week 1 if you missed it). And as with the constant drama found in reality television, may MY horrid kitchen help you appreciate YOURS that much more.


One thought

  1. If I were fitter, I would definitely be masochistic enough to do Tough Mudder… it sounds like fun! Also, you’ve almost described my kitchen, except instead of a dishwasher, I have a sink that leaks and the oven… pffftt… it’s a gas oven so old you need to pull a wire to ignite it. I brought my house and moved in near Christmas. On Christmas Day, I went to make a nice roast and broke the wire. No oven since and that was five years ago.

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