The following is an open letter to my future daughter-in-laws. If in the case my son or sons are gay, this will not apply since this letter is specifically regarding my boys knowledge of a woman’s period and all that comes with that understanding. (I will gladly write another letter to my future son in-laws).
To all my future Daughter-In-Laws,
As I sit here writing this letter, all three of my boys are still too young to even contemplate marriage. Two of them still recoil and “eww” at the idea of having a girlfriend. For those two, I am still the one and only woman in their lives. But just as with the oldest, and in the true nature of life, this will not last for much longer. And that’s definitely okay with me. I actually look forward to meeting you one day and getting to know the other half that will make my boys turn in to a gooey mush. I look forward to watching from afar those stolen moments of laughter, inside jokes, a touch of the hand, simple sweet gestures, and those moments you both light up as the other walks in to the room. I look forward to not only seeing how much you will make my sons happy, but how much my sons will make you happy. And this latter one is just as important to me as it is to your own parents.
It’s been quite the journey, but I pride myself in doing all I can to raise three respectable, authentic, loving, kind, hardworking men… not just for their own benefit, but mostly for the future you. I have made it a goal to show them clearly what it feels like to be a woman. What life is like when you are a woman, through my own experiences. I remind them that it is both a wonderful and hellish thing to wear the female crown. There are the ideal moments where we shine, and there are the unpleasant moments where we don’t. I continue to provide them with the tools they need to make those unpleasant moments that much less troublesome for you and their future daughters.
When you’re in a partnership, both parties influence the happiness of the other.
So with that, please have the below list handy for reference. I want you to know what they know. I want you to know that they have been guided on how to be a positive influence in your most difficult times. Do not ever let them lead you to believe otherwise. Their mom (that’s me) did right by them, by you, and by my future granddaughters. You can send me a thank you letter or take me out for sushi and wine. Either will suffice.
∗ Your Tampons/Pads:
- He is fine with buying tampons/pads without an ounce of embarrassment.
- He knows the difference between a light flow, a regular flow and a heavy flow.
- He knows that the tampon/pad boxes are color coded for flow indication.
- He knows very well that Pearl is better than Cardboard, and why.
- He knows that pads have wings and will never joke about it.
- He understands the urgency and will go out to the store at a moment’s notice if you run out of tampons/pads.
- He knows that some women prefer pads over tampons and he will never have a say in either.
- He will keep in his notes your favorite brand. Just let him know if this ever changes.
∗ Your Period:
- He knows about the monthly calendar menstrual cycle.
- He knows it can last anywhere between 3 and 7 days.
- He knows that it can be messy.
- He knows about overflow and about the probability of staining the sheets at night or your underwear and will never make you feel uncomfortable about either.
- He knows that it is probably very painful for you. Let him know what usually works to help with your pain and he’ll take care of the rest.
- He knows that it’s a natural process in life and knows never to bring it up unless you do.
∗ Your Mood:
- He knows about the emotional and physical definition of PMS (not just the acronym)
- He understands that each month you might feel different from the month prior. Some women are consistent and others are not.
- He is aware that you’ll try on 3 outfits and each one will make you hate your body.
- He knows that during this time the sound of your sweet children’s voices sound more like screeching nails on a chalkboard to you and will do everything in his power to keep them quiet.
- He knows that you can feel old and ugly even when you’re young and beautiful and will never minimize nor maximize your feelings on either.
- He understands that WHO you are during your cycle is ONLY a product of your hormones and not who you are normally, but will never point that out, knowing the dangers lurking if he does.
- He knows that you won’t be smiling much during this time.
- He knows that your sleeping patterns and your eating patterns will change throughout your cycle.
- He knows that keeping your favorite snacks stocked can help you during this time.
- He knows to watch that chick flick with you and let you cry without flinching.
- He knows to be more affectionate without the expectation of sex, unless of course you want to.
- He knows never to use the term “on the rag” and think you won’t come at him like a bat out of hell if he does.
- And above all, he knows never, ever, under any circumstance to use your period against you. This would be detrimental to him and there would be no coming back from it. Safety is key.
With much love and understanding,
Your MIL and ally.
— The Pretty Platform