My thoughts are like unplanned and uninvited guests. They usually pop in when I’m on my own during a relaxing drive. For some people it’s a stroll through the park as they contemplate the sights and sounds of nature. For others it may be a long soak in the tub as the lit wick of a candle dances in the dimness of the room. Sure, those seem to be an open door policy as well, but given that I find myself driving everyday to and fro from the daycare, during that daily hour it can get very busy and noisy up in my head. Personally, I dread the To-Do list thoughts like home repairs or shopping for back to school supplies. I prefer to shove those out and jot them down on paper to keep them from pacing around in my head. Then there are the thoughts that if allowed to put its feet up and stay awhile can be quite enlightening. On Friday, during my usual drive, a humorous and somewhat questionable bit of advice handed to me way back in my 20’s opened the door and walked right in. It caused not only a chuckle to escape, but it seemed to be an open call to many other pieces of advice I’ve received in my lifetime. From the profound to the useless. People will gratuitously provide us with information that we can consider either genius or just plain stupid, having acquired it from either tradition or experience. Many have stayed with me throughout the years. Some I’ll keep alive, while others I’ll make sure to keep buried forever.
Here are some I’m willing to share with the world. Some may be equally helpful to you as they were for me, while others just provide simple entertainment. Please share some of your lifetime favorites at the end of this post. My door is always open to good, weird, funny but effective advice.
From my Mother…
- At the young age of 20, I was about to be married and I was a virgin. The night before my wedding, my mother who had never spoken to me about sex which means I never received “The Talk”, had now offered up the following…. (original advice was given in Spanish) … “Make sure to have either tissues, wet wipes or a hand towel on your nightstand since having sex can get messy and you may be too tired to go wash up”. She told me to trust her. Yuck! Was this my “Talk”? Unfortunately I had nowhere to hide.
- “A sincere smile is the best beauty tool you’ll ever own”.
- “Don’t accept anything anyone tells you as truth. Always ask for proof”. I wish I had taken this bit of advice early on in my life.
- “Let go of the negative stuff and hold on tight to the positive”.
- “Don’t wash your hair everyday. It’ll dry it out”.
- “Sit up straight”.
- “Beware of men that feel a need to sell themselves like a used car salesman. Beware of men that remind you how great they are or how lucky you are to be with them. Let their actions speak for their true nature”.
From my Aunt…
- “Never lend out money to family or friends without a written and signed contract”.
- “Never invest in a brand new car. A used car does the job just fine”.
- “Forget the rainy day. Save, save, save, for when the storm comes”.
- “Hire a lawyer to settle your ownership of your house”. This one proved to be my saving grace.
- “Don’t judge others if you want to be accepted as you are”.
- “Take care of yourself first so you can then take care of others”.
From my Boss…
- “If you want something done immediately make sure to NEVER use the term ASAP”.
- “Go home. You can finish this tomorrow”.
From my Husband…
- “Who cares what others think. Be yourself. To the hell with everyone else”.
- “Find what you love to do and do it”. This replayed in my head a million times, then this blog was born.
- “Stop cleaning and relax”. Yeah right!
- To an article I asked him to critique before I posted it up… “It’s good, but not great”. This always pushes me to strive for great.
- “These shoes would look great on you”. I bought the shoes.
- “Never stop learning”.
From an ex-boyfriend…
- “Let him speak first. Wait your turn without interruption. Then you can go in for the kill with all information in hand”. His advice to me when I had to go to a child custody court hearing.
From a total stranger…
- “I can tell by looking at you that you are NOT completely Puerto Rican. Go research your ancestry”. I’ll be doing a DNA test soon for my ancestry percentages, but this stranger was right after I did some digging. I’ll share the results after I complete the test.
From a friend…
- “Keep writing”. So simple but exactly what I needed to hear.
- “Rub the steering wheel twice around to the left, once around to the right and ask the Parking God to guide us to a spot, and now go straight. Trust me.”. I laughed but humored her. Then screamed when there was a spot waiting for us instantly. Take note we were driving around for quite some time and just wanted to get on the beach. Hysterical, eerie and weird!
From my seven-year old…
- “Mommy, you need to brush your teeth. Your breath smells bad”. I had coffee breath. Kids are brutally honest.
Now how can I go on after THAT?! Share some of yours below.
— The Pretty Platform