Ladies Celebrating Ladies!

Donna Missal

Girl, you got me all f*ked up I’m in my feelings
Oh, oh, oh girl, I had enough, just stop
We’re only human
I know, you don’t mean it
Still I take it all so personal
Girl, you got me all f*ked up
I don’t wanna steal your man
I’m not hanging with your friends
I’ve no one to impress
So why are you upsetting, stressing over nothing?
Hide in my apartment, shaming for my presence
Thinking I did something wrong
But I wouldn’t choose this
When women hate on other women
Everybody loses

yeah, hey …

It’s finally the weekend, the dust has settled, and I sit here reflecting on this month’s holidays… in particular February 13th!!! Leslie Knope introduced us to the fictional Galentine’s Day back in 2010… “Ladies celebrating Ladies”. A day you were to leave your intimate significant other back home, and show your female friends how much you appreciate the love that bonds you together with brunch and mimosas. A television moment that warmed hearts everywhere. Fast forward to 2019, and you can surely attest that this “holiday” is no longer fictional. Women worldwide have devotedly embraced this day, just as much as Hallmark has embraced Valentines day, and this year since was no different.

What may be the underlining reason why so many women, me included look forward to this day with much anticipation? If you are from the dude genre, you may not quite understand what we gain from our female counterparts that we can’t get from you the following day. Hint, it has NOTHING to do with shoes, or makeup.

Ask any woman, and with a twinkle in her eye and with a squeak of excitement in her voice, the answer is naturally simple. Females uplifting each other with words of encouragement, making one another smile with gestures of sweets, thanking each other for their support, their time, their listening ear and their kick ass advice. Having each other backs. Being one another’s rock and comic relief. A camaraderie like no other.

Which is why when I listened to Donna Missal’s song GIRL for the first time,
(check out the video at the bottom of this post) I was struck to the bone by the following lyrics:

“When women hate on other women everybody loses.”

That’s it!!! That right there, those 8 simple words help explain it.

Before Galentine’s Day was the new norm, married women had to come up with viable excuses to set aside time to spend with their friends; Lisa’s bachelorette party, Trish is having marriage problems, Emma got fired. A night out with the ladies was attributed more to the world of singles. Women in relationships were deemed selfish for taking time away from their families or significant others to go “hang out” with their friends. It was so frowned upon that even the older generation would warn us that we were actually risking our marriages with these so called “girls nights or girls trips”. Religious organizations played in on the fear by strongly advising couples to never vacation without one another if you don’t want your partner to stray.

“When women hate on other women everybody loses.”

Making women feel guilt and trepidation for their affection and sentiment toward the other women in their lives can render negative results in society as a whole. It handcuffs their natural character, setting in motion the rise of loneliness, depression, disconnection and anger, causing many women to lash out toward one another and even toward their partners, not realizing the underlying cause.

Simply put… Women need women. It’s one of our internal puzzle pieces. Experience has shown that the time spent with the ladies in my life, the moments I take to connect with them, the secrets I share with them, the tears I cry with them, the laughs between us, the memories created, does not risk my marriage one bit. Just as the time dedicated exclusively to him, to us, or to our children does not affect my friendships either.

Celebrating love is one of the most beautiful celebrations. Go ahead and celebrate your partner, celebrate your children, celebrate yourself, but don’t forget to celebrate Galentine’s Day because every relationship in your life is of utmost importance. Every person you love and that equally loves you back, shapes who you are, nurtures your spirit, energizes your soul.

Let’s make sure we continue to be a part of a society that flourishes on celebrating our female friends…. because in essence…

“When women hate on other women everybody loses.”

— The Pretty Platform

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